— That last, being one of the personal house keeping duties I have to do every day. When I try to stand back and think psychologically, all these small things (plus the metal bowls we eat from) add up to deliver a powerful, unmistakable message; "You are not like us, you are less. You are animal. You are a utility." At last, Fifty! Now shave your crotch and scalp and clean your teeth and face, please." I do as she says, but she hasn't forgotten my earlier lack of enthusiasm for following orders. "Right, to help you be rather more obedient, you can have 10 demerits! We will obviously have to do this again regularly until you lose some of your inhibitions." Thank you, Mistress," seems the safest reply, although I'm not looking forward to that."You're welcome, Fifty!" Jo responds, cheerily, ignoring my reticence.After breakfast, the girls and I are taken out to the garden. One of the support staff — 'the Keepers', as I call them — tells us that it's time we helped with the gardening.. It all seems so easyon the TV family shows, where nothing is so serious that it never takesmore than thirty minutes with commercial so set it right again, but Ijust can't seem to get at the source of his ache.Eden became more relaxed and convivial the longer we chatted; after all,we shared a lot in common. In many ways, this Eden was identical to theperson I'd known and loved, but there was, at the core, a majordifference, one that I could not overlook.I had only come to love Eden Blake, really love her, during those monthswhen we shared the same body. We had merged, like two thoughts in thesame head, neither of us able to keep secrets from the other -- not eventhe most intimate and discreditable. She had come to know who and whatLukasz was, and I had discovered the soul of Eden Blake. The love weshared was not based on superficialities, as most people's are; it wasborn of an intimacy more complete and all-pervasive than any that wasever experienced before by two people.To think.
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