Ryan broke their kiss when he felt he was getting a little to hot. Owen smiled at him with forgiving eyes and offered they go downstairs and get a drink. Ryan was more than eager for that. He felt like he needed a drink more than anything at that moment. When they went down to the parlor, however, and Owen disappeared in the kitchen, Ryan stormed outside to get some fresh air. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to calm his nerves and galloping thoughts. Ryan felt more than tipsy, but not drunk enough yet. He looked around. There wasn’t many of his peers left hanging around, but those who stayed were getting freaky in the pool, or at least it looked like so from the distance. Two questions were racing his mind: “do I want to go further?” and “does Owen want it?”.Owen found Ryan eventually, standing hopeless and shirtless in chill evening air. Owen asked if he was planning on joining the pool, to which Ryan shook his head earnestly and drank the drink he was offered immediately. Of. Would I have tried to change your mind? Would I have even gone to your room? I've struggled with this issue.In the years that followed, I often tried to call, about once a month, after my workout, to see how you were doing. I always felt your reaction was tentative; uncertain of my intentions and what your new husband might think. I asked you if you wanted me to leave you alone, but you never told me to.I remember how awkward it was. I would call "person-to-person" and have to drop $ 3.50 worth of quarters into the pay phone. I didn't want to risk calling from home or work. For $ 3.50 you only get about 2 ½ minutes or so. Not enough time to find out much. I followed you as you traveled across the country. I remember how you said owning a restaurant was so much work. I remember you telling me how you had sold your house so your new husband could own his own truck.I asked what your husband knew about us. You said: "He had no idea." You seemed determined to keep it that way. I tried to.
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