My chromosomes had been stolen from me and my body hadmatured as a female over formative years of my life. Jason was in nodoubt about his desires and kept on reminding me how much he loved meand what a wonderful life we would have together. I got angry with himfor being so kind and understanding all of the time. Every time hekissed me I would find myself melting into his strong manly arms. Then Iwould suddenly get pissed and push him away. Poor guy probably thought Iwas going off my rocker. I heard my Mum telling him not to worry, thatit was just pre-marriage jitters and that I would soon sort myself out.The more I thought about it I realized that even if I wanted to stay asa woman, becoming Jason's wife meant I would have to bear his childrenand be a mother to them. Did I really want to get married? I didn't haveany maternal feelings towards babies. In fact, they scared the livingdaylights out of me and I really wanted nothing to do with them. Idecided that all of the crying, . You behaved so gallantly, but I peed, and I am so embarrassed,’ I confessed. ‘I will be right back,’ replied Todd. I sat there wondering where he had gone. I thought about how he often seemed to excuse himself when I was almost in mid sentence. Then I’d find him checking the scores of some ball game or stock market trends. He would apologize for having become distracted. At times, I would become jealous as if some mistress that I could not compete against had once again seduced him. Yet, Todd returned quickly. ‘Come follow me,’ he commanded. I did not dare defy that look of authority, which he rarely displays. ‘What?’ I asked. ‘Just come with me,’ he repeated. Todd took my hand and guided me into our guestroom that also serves as his office. ‘I want you to sit down and look at this,’ he instructed. I hid my frustration, because I was not it the mood to look at some chart to see how his investments have met his goal. A positive stock market was not going to take away my.
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