I thought tothe message I got from Mike. Urrggghhh. Boys are gonna think I'm hot.Urrrrggghhh.I put the brush down and started fiddling with my hair while thinkingabout my friendship with Monique and Dave. Looking at my facebook page,it looked as if my friendship with those two wasn't going to change. Ihoped not, I was going to need both of them if I was going to getthrough this. Whatever this was.In fact, what the fuck is this? I'm now a girl. Everything seems to havechanged to say that I was always a girl but everybody remembers me asJonny. How does this happen? How am I supposed to change back if I don'tknow how I was changed?I was brought out of my thoughts by a familiar sensation. I needed topee. This was not gonna be fun.I left my room and crossed the hallway to the bathroom. This room waspretty much the same except there was a lot more girly shampoos andother hygiene products. Made sense, there was now twice as many femalesin the house than there used to be. I walked over to. I wasn't confident that anything would change, or that Dr. Fellows could assist me with relieving my personal unhappiness. I'd considered going to another therapist, but in the end, decided there was too much of my past history that Dr. Fellows already knew. With anyone else, I'd have to begin all over again.Dr. Fellows and I had discussed my living situation and the way I was feeling extensively during frequent phone conversations. She told me she was uncertain herself about whether she'd be able to help me much with my current situation. In the end, even though neither of us expressed much optimism about the outcome, we both agreed to try.I had it set up so that I'd stay in the clinic, as an inpatient, for two weeks during the first phase of my therapy. I would spend the early part of each week day working on my trading activities and making any outgoing business calls I felt were necessary. During all the afternoons and evenings, I'd make myself continuously available to the doctor.
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