Defense Attorney: Why not?Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven’t felt that good in years!Defense Attorney: What happened next?Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so “spicy” that I just laid down and told him “Take me, young man. Take me now!”Defense Attorney: Did he take you?Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, “April Fool!” And that’s when I shot him, the little bastard.Short on compliments of joevsr‎2 men in a bar.1st man, turning to his buddy, “How can I start to grow hair on my bald head?”2nd man, “I have found that if you stick your head between a woman’s legs, It will help” Saying this as he stroked his full beard.The following are compliments of squaddie117‎Young Jewish couple are having their first baby, after the birth the Doctor comes to them and says, “you have a healthy baby boy, but I’m afraid he’s been born without eyelids.”“What can we do,” moaned the father, “He can’t go through life like that?”“Don’t worry,” said the. Lucy was among that group. She turned around and pulled Brien’s head down and kissed him on the lips, “Thank you for coming back alive Brien.”“You’re more than welcome my little love,” Brien said. The two of them stood there holding hands grinning looking into each other’s eyes.“Brien, where were you today.”Brien pointed to the screen, “I was a gunner on that. That was one of my shots!” Everyone in the audience flinched as one of the ships blew up. Hundreds of ships were tumbling, flying sideways or one was upside down. One ship blew up right in front of the camera, “I did that. That was my job. I got 23 today with my plasma cannon.” Brien said.“How’d you survive that?” Lucy asked.Brien looked at Lucy who was halfway behind him holding onto his arm for dear life, “Your father Emperor John created a shield that protected us. It just wasn’t strong enough to block a two-hundred-ton ship head-on, so I got to blow them up.”Brien had always wanted friends, but his past condition had.
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