" He turned to me. His expression was pained."Just ignore everything about me, everything except my body. Would youprefer me to stay this way?"He frowned. "Look, Asai, I love--" Please. Answer."Reg sighed. "I don't mind... it. But would prefer, if you were..." Hethought for a moment. "Like you were under the spell in the Khaasktown."I was such a fool. Moisture filled my eyes, and I hugged him.He helped me to sit on his lap. "I'm sor--" No, it's not your fault." My voice thickened, and I took his hand. "I'mso sorry. I've been a wreck. Ever since that waking dream at the border,tolerating myself has been impossible. Any reminder, of how it was to bewhat I want to be, is a burning lance through my heart."I paused to calm my breathing. "Your attention becomes all the moreunbearable, because I still love your touch. I shouldn't have gottenangry last night. You... You were hurt during the trial."Reg squeezed my hand. "I could have withstood the pain." His voice wasweak and thick. "But the. I told them that I intended to ride to Port Zamfara in a day or two, once I cleared it with Father.When we sat down to dinner, a Nordlinger man I didn’t recognize came in with Father and sat down to eat with us. That I didn’t recognize him was no surprise. I was home so little that I only recognized a quarter of them, and only knew names of thirty or forty of them. Father and my brothers handled the purchase of new slaves and assigning them work, so I had little contact with them.I was surprised that one of them was having dinner with us, but only because dinner was usually reserved for family and special guests. He seemed to know Father, my mothers, and Father’s concubines. Once again, I figured that Father would tell me if I needed to know about it. Many things here didn’t involve me.“I’d like to ride to Port Zamfara as soon as possible,” I said to Father at the table. “I know that it will be painful, but it shouldn’t affect my health. I’ll take a good supply of tassimin salve and.
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