Although Susan had lost a lot of weight, she still looked like a mountain of fat hiding her body in that video. In a way, the woman shown in that video looked even worse than the woman in the first video. The expression on the face was one of loathing and disgust. Her posture, if possible, was even worse. Susan said, "That was me after being in the program for about six months." You look like I feel," Denise said staring at the video. She couldn't understand why Susan even kept it around. She would have deleted it after seeing it for the first time."This was taken ten days after that last video," Susan said starting another video to play. The woman portrayed in the video looked completely different. She was sitting up straight with her body clearly on display. Even though she was still overweight, it wasn't as noticeable. There was an expression of enjoyment on her face. Her actions were lively and interested."It is like it isn't the same person," Denise said struck by the contrast. It was as though my mother had gone all the way to Dan’s side, and against me. As her stomach grew, it embarrassed me to see her. She had always been thin, and now she was becoming rounded, with soft curves where she had once been angular. She stopped taking her anti-depressants, not wanting to expose the baby to them as long as she was pregnant or breast feeding, even though her doctor said it would be okay. She didn’t want to take the chance. It became difficult for her to work without her meds and with the added dose of hormones that pregnancy caused. Finally, she stopped working and stayed at home. She sometimes didn’t even find the energy to dress, spending the whole day in her bathrobe, her belly jutting out. I avoided the baby totally. My mother seemed to understand. We didn’t say a lot to each other, but she always understood me. She was the only person who seemed to be okay with who I was. Everybody else seemed to expect more, and they seemed disappointed; Dan, my therapist,.
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