"Of course not! I wouldn't dream of doing so without speaking to you first. Look, have a think about it Clare, and if you are in favour, I'll talk to him."We resumed our conversation later that night when we were already in bed."I've thought about what you said this afternoon, Tom."My heart rate suddenly increased. "Go on." Well, if we do choose to go down this route, it has to be with you as well as him. That way, if I do fall pregnant, we can still believe it's our child." That's what I would want anyway." There is something else." She paused."I'm listening." I don't want you thinking badly of me, but I have to admit that I do find Ray sexually attractive." Why should I do that, Clare? We both know he's a nice guy, he's good-looking and in the sexual sense he's new to you. I would be surprised if he didn't turn you on." So I don't have to pretend that I'm not getting any pleasure out of it; that I'm just tolerating it in order to get in the family way?"Just hearing her saying this. Beth Ann was quiet all the way back to the cabin. It didn't bother me because I had so much to think about. Losing my reproductive potency was no big deal. I hadn't wanted children and Judith hadn't reached a peace with herself where she was comfortable starting a family.I played the perfect ventriloquist dummy, while being examined by Rebecca and Colleen. Other than admitting to knowing Beth Ann, I simply told them that I had no independent memory of the many, many things they asked. There were times I answered things and one, or the other would ask, "How do you know that?" Each time I assured them it was something Beth Ann had mentioned. I made no attempt to invent any memories. No matter what they asked the answer stayed consistent.Driving home, it was obvious that Beth Ann was troubled by the facts and I could tell we would have some long, hard talks about it, before long.When she parked the van and we were walking into the house Beth Ann asked, "Do you really have no memory of.
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