I felt like I had ADD, I couldn't keep my mind focused on something for more than twenty seconds. I actually timed it, and then thought about the fact that I was timing my thoughts for a little bit before my mind jumped to something else.I actually thought about everything. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Johannesburg, South Africa. Danny's parents and my parents being best friends. Danny and I. Danny by himself. Danny was a recurring though. Scott. Scott and Emily. Maddie and Brad. The girls. The guys. Houston, Texas. Des Moines, Idaho. Gossip Girl, a book by Cecile Van Zeegar about the fabulous and fabulously screwed up lives of Upper East Side WASPy teenagers.I eventually fell asleep thinking about ice cubes.I woke up almost two days later.Danny was slouched into a chair in the corner, his head leaning back against the chair, his hair tousled. His clothes were rumpled, and he was breathing deeply like people do when they're get to sleep after being awake for too long.I knew. Friends shows up and cuddled on cozy couches and floor pillows and watched ‘Deep Throat’ and ‘Pirates’ and laughed and pretended not to be turned on in the slightest. Seth showed up. I ignored him for about ten minutes, frozen. I found other friends and laughed and joked. I kept turning to look at him, my attraction magnified by the environment – so many people packed into the room, orgasms on the giant movie screen forming the background music. When I couldn’t bear it any longer, I resolved to make a move. I turned to walk over to him, finally.. and he was gone. Absolutely crestfallen, I turn to my two girl friends and let them console me. Because they’re awesome, we went up to Chloe’s room to have a mellow evening. Secretly, I was thrilled – Chloe lives on the same hall with Seth. I’d resolved to make a move on him… and even if that failed, at least maybe I’d see him walking to the bathroom. That’s just how obsessed and incredibly drunkenly attracted to him I felt. Except I wasn’t.
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