Thursday and Friday, 15 & 16 days after Jennifer reappearsEdgbastonI am looking at Dr Laura Malvern, the psychologist who I hope, will be able to help my wife change back into the person she used to be.We have come to Edgbaston, to her 'trauma practice, ' which sounds as if it should be part of some Accident and Emergency Department in a hospital next to a motorway (1) but the practice occupies an Edwardian detached house in a leafy street in Birmingham.The building has been decorated to make people feel at ease. It's decorated in lemons and pale blues with fawn carpets and it smells of lavender or something like that. We are sitting in an upstairs room. There is a desk in one part of the room but we are in easy chairs near the window. There is Jenny, me, Dr Malvern and a female colleague of hers taking notes. She is and she isn't present. An oddly invisible third party to our conversation.Malvern has a quiet un-accented voice. She manages to give the impression that she has all the. Oh Well, that’s all you can say. The anger I talked about a moment ago is only one type of anger I feel. I get pissed when store clerks hurry up and end a conversation because they think I’m retarded when my Aphasia acts up. What’s funny is at the rate it’s going in a year or three unless something happens they won’t be wrong.Then there’s the slow burn anger that I feel at my body for betraying me that sometimes flares into a rage when I can’t remember a word or think of how to form a logical approach to a situation. I once audited a course in Mathematical Logic from Stanford without having any of the prerequisites and passed the course work. I passed by the skin of my teeth, but I passed. I find the inability to use logic especially galling.Anger is a two edged sword. Sometimes I can use it to burn through the fog and focus. Other times, it drives me further into the fog. I never know which is which. I already covered the Hyper-Aggression which I’m medicated for so no need to rehash.
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