"Hush, hush, it's okay." No it's not! It's your baby! What if..." Daddy stopped me. He brought his fingers to my lips and gave me a stern look."We aren't going to think about that. Now, you listen to me. I love you, and nothing's going to change that. You'll have this baby, and if something's wrong, then we'll deal with that when the time comes." But Daddy what am I suppose to say to people?" You don't say anything. You're a grown woman. You can have a baby if you want. If they ask who the father is, you just tell them that the father ran off. Okay?" Okay Daddy." "If you think it better, we can get a midwife, you know so you can have the baby in private." "If that's what you want." "I think it might be best. Now come and sit down. You're going to need your rest." Daddy was so good to me while I was pregnant, he calmed my fears and looked and acted as though it was a wonderful thing that I was going to have his c***d. When the baby was born, she was the most beautiful c***d I'd ever. And promising to save yourself rather than those people around you who die so you can live.“If I did that ... if I saved her, then I would have had to face Beckett this morning and ask him to go forward knowing I had already used my emergency safety potion. I would have just been a little girl, unable to make the hard decisions, asking him to trust me and go forward. He’d say we don’t know what we will find, and asking me what I’d do if we are surprised ... And he’d be right. But it is hard!.”She looks into my eyes. “Do you hate me, knowing I could have done that and didn’t?”“Her name was Holly Quint.”“What?”“The priestess, her name was Holly Quint. If you are going to make a decision like that, you should at least know their name.”I cannot condemn her. It was hard enough for me to accept Holly’s sacrifice. And I cannot accept that people are charged with saving me without also accepting that the princess has duties to her people to stay alive. But she’s right: it is hard. We hold.
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