I simply didn't want to share the pain I was going through with anyone else. My internalizing my pain wasn't exactly doing me any good though. It was just that the infighting in my family was not something I wanted to expose anyone else to at this time. The problems at home only added to my insecurities I felt as an adolescent. I was really starting to reach a breaking point.I thought about Kate and how much I missed her. Months had gone by without her leaving my mind. She was invading my every dream at night. I thought about how understanding and compassionate she seemed, particularly after an incident in which another student in our sixth grade class had lost a parent in an accident. And she did suggest we keep in touch. I thought about it for some time. What would I say? Suppose she found someone new? Suppose she doesn't want anything to do with me and my problems? Suppose she forgot who I was? I thought about everything that could go wrong until I just made myself sicker than I. Each hotel on the property had its own unique pool and we thought it would be fun to visit them all in one afternoon. My favorite pool was the last one we visited. It had a great swim up bar and large hot tub area that resembled a little lagoon. It was surrounded by natural looking rocks which lent a sense of privacy. You could get to it without ever leaving the pool. Sarah had promised her daughters she would call them after they got home from school that day and she excused herself to go back to the room. Shortly after Sarah left, I offered to grab some beer for us. I left Dan and Anne alone and made my way out to the pool bar. The bar was mobbed and after a couple of minutes of waiting I decided it would be smarter to come back after it thinned out some. As I was coming around the rocks that led into the lagoon I paused. Something wasn't right. Anne had a serious look on her face and that puzzled me. She didn't see me standing there and Dan had his back to me, so I stood still and.
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