The way he touched her had made her feel like a sexual goddess, but in her mind she felt like she was just an innocent little virgin. Leaving her dad to watch whichever lame TV show was on, she had skipped upstairs to do homework; but things weren’t exactly going to plan. She was stretched out on her bed in shorts and a baggy t-shirt staring at her History text book, wondering what Scott had meant by ‘Lesson 2’. Was goofing around behind the bike shed going to become a weekly event? Claire didn’t even know how Scott felt about her. She guessed she was just being used for his sexual needs. But if she was just a tool for his pleasure, why did he pleasure her instead of making Claire bring him to orgasm? Her mind was going round in circles. Maybe next week’s ‘lesson’ was her turn to please him... She felt quite excited by the thought of getting to play with this penis. She’d never even seen one before, let alone touched one. Claire wondered how he reacted during orgasm. She thought. She works. She takes whatever it is that she has and turns it into creation. She thinks and criticizes, not for others, but for herself. She does not care to be intelligent or wise for the sake of others. She only cares to be intelligent for herself, and to use that intelligence to make herself better… to make herself even more immovable… to make herself happier. She doesn’t watch herself move through life. She doesn’t imagine the way that she looks in the eyes of others as she walks down the street. She moves with purpose. The only reason why she is walking in the first place is to get somewhere that she feels is important, and naturally, that movement is attractive. Purpose is attractive. The days that pass are merely sections of opportunities for her to make her mark in the world. She throws herself into these sections of opportunity, and she uses them so well, that she makes it look like those sections weren’t enough. Her progress makes it look as though she can live for one.
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