Many times, the only indication of its presence was the small bumps of sweat above the lip or the single large bead that exploded from your armpit and rolled down the ribcage. But when it covered you, it’s tentacles ran deep and the poison of self doubt paralyzed your being. Like a spider, it would sink its fangs into your reason, then retreat to watch as you stiffened dumb. A close companion many nights, fear had served Capt well in his aviation career. It had come to his aid on the milk run between Anchorage and Sitka. Landing the twin engine Air Queen on the barren tundra gathered the Captain accolades from passengers and company alike. Etched on the gold colored plate were the words, ‘Maintaining control of an aircraft under extreme conditions thereby saving the lives of passengers and crew’. After the awards ceremony he’d turned the bowl into a squirrel feeder, the bushy tailed rodents appreciated the seeds along with the praise and didn’t mind if the Captain was a fraud. As. I'd hardly got to within a yard when, quick as lightening, she swung her fists. One caught the side of my head and the other forced all the wind out of my stomach. I collapsed to the floor in agony. Vaguely I remember Ra'chel lifting me on to the bed and J'cob holding his daughter away from me. My senses returned in a few minutes but my head felt like a hammer had hit it and my ribs were once again very painful. "I'm sorry Henry, I'm so sorry. Let me stay I won't hurt him. I'm sorry." Slowly turning my head towards the voice, I saw L'ncze struggling and being half carried, half dragged from the room by J'cob and B'nack."Lie still," Ra'chel's calming voice came through to my brain, "Lie still, we'll keep her out of your way until she's calmed down." I wasn't trying to go away," I wheezed."I know but L'ncze was blind to anything except you were outside and thus in her mind you were leaving her. She also saw your being with the elders as a sign of your guilt. J'cob and I soon realised.
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