The coroner said a massive heart attack. Mom was inconsolable. But I tried my best. She sold the house and moved into an apartment. I started my business and was soon well off in my own right. I bought my house outright no mortgage and then I invited mom to move in. That way I could take care of her after all she looked good but she was not young.So here we are mom and I got into a routine of sitting on the couch having a cup of tea, watching the news and just chatting. One day I notice mom looked sad. I asked her what was wrong and she just said I need a hug. I moved over and put my arms around her. She buried her face in my chest and started to sob. She said today is the anniversary of when your dad died. My hand rubbed her back and she cuddled even tighter. My arm rested on her shoulder and my hand rested on her tit. Instinctively my hand squeezed her tit through her bra. Mom whispered No man has ever done that except your father. Then she said I don't want to be alone tonight. I. I'm afraid some of them were never able to get over the desire for it, even after I released them."That was both reassuring and frightening. It helped to know that I wasn't the only one who had self-destructive urges. It also told me the reason why many of his victims would not testify — they could not risk anyone finding out that they had such perverted desires, or they were grateful for having their sex organs upgraded and didn't want to have to declare that publicly, either. The unfortunate ones would have to have been put into straightjackets to keep them from hurting themselves. Some might not have been diagnosed quickly enough. Those might have succeeded in some form of self-mutilation. That was the real horror that the police report kept secret and that had bothered Gail so much — that they could be made to do want to do things like that to themselves.Everyone's worst nightmare is to be turned into the thing that they fear most. In this case, they had become their own.
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