Karen walked back to the table as Gordon took the stage."So have you boys been good while we were away." Karen asked."Steve here is quite a drinker, I think I have found a drinking mate." Is that right Steve, be careful with Jay, he can drink tequila like no one you have ever met. Jay you must show Steve our cottage, Roy took us to his place and I was telling Susan how are cottage is very similar to Roy's." Cottage, his house was beautiful, more like a mansion." Susan responded clearly impressed."I'm surprised you saw any of the house the way you were making eyes with Roy." Karen commented."I was not." My wife quickly answered, defensively."Oh come on Susan don't worry, Steve knows I'm joking, besides he's not the jealous type are you Steve." I took a sip of my drink and nodded no."Finish that drink Steve and lets walk over to my place, it's close by." Jay said finishing his drink and standing up."I don't know if I should leave Susan besides it's getting late and I'm hammered." I. It's just run of themill crap, stuff you find anywhere. Your heart and soul just aren'tgood enough to win over the locals. You try everything you can but youjust can't do better. You can't change minds or get noticed.So you finally give up. It's not worth it anymore. You tried. Youworked your best but you are you and you will always fail. It doesn'tmatter how much effort you put into what you do, you always fail.Always.Friendship...LonelinessI screwed up again. It's the story of my life. I expect the worst and Iget the worst. Just when I think I might be doing well I end up fallinginto the same void and seeing the worst in everyone.Let me back up. I was always a loner, even from birth. I was theunwanted 3rd of four children. I was always sick, always getting hurt,always too weak or frail to do much of what everyone else was doing. Iwas always the one who caused others fail because I was never as goodas I should have been and in time it caused everyone to get angry orupset at me.It.
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