Refined mylook and built a wardrobe. But, I wanted more. No more acting, I wantedto be the girl.So I grew my hair out a bit, started electrolysis, and hooked up with ahormone source. One day I stepped over the line permanently when Iinterviewed and was hired as a female cook at 30.What my parents never realized is that in naming me at birth theyunwittingly made it easy for me to effortlessly start living with afemale name - I only had to simply replace a "w" with an "a" in mymiddle name to have a completely feminine name with no court orders ordocument changes.So I began calling myself Irina instead of Robin. My cooking skills andother odd job talents keep me in food and dresses, but feelingimpoverished I reluctantly resigned myself to never being more than anon-op transsexual woman.Four years ago, I happened to hear about a job house-sitting. Turns outit was a regular gig mainly taking care of the pets and plants whilethe widower owner with no other immediate family traveled the. "I can remember, trying to think what I had worn under it that today, but I couldn't; I found out later, I was wearing shorts and a T-shirt. The questions started again and all the time, his hand was under my flight suit touching me. I tried to detach my mind from what was happening, but it was difficult, so I tried to remember my training about being raped if I was captured. We were told not to fight it, just let it happen,"Do you want to stop now," the Doctor said, "we can pick it up next time." No, that's ok," she said, "I liked to get it out of the way now ok."Sure, please carry on," he said.The officer now shouted something I didn't understand and he pulled out a knife. I remember thinking, was it better to be stabbed or raped, but before I could make up my mind, he threw the knife behind me. My flight suit was literary cut off me, now the questions started again, same old one, who was commanding officer, where was I trained and so on. Then as I didn't answer the knife when to.
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