As she lay next to me, she said she was lonely and could not sleep. She said needed a man to hold her (my dad had passed away 7 months earlier). I could smell alcohol on her breath. I was embarrassed and asked her to leave a couple of times but she kept saying please just hold me. Laying next to me she started to rub her hand over my chest, working her hand lower. I just laid there nervous and anxious wondering what to do. I stopped breathing when her hand got to the top band of my tighty whities. I held my breath as her hand slid down over my now very hard cock and squeezed it. She whispered "you like this don't you". All I could get out was a mumbled yes as I instinctively thrust my hips forward. She rubbed and squeezed for a few more seconds as I tried not to cum. Then she stopped touching me and rolled onto her side saying “honey, hold me”. I got behind her, keeping space between us and resting my hand on her shoulder. She said “closer honey; hold me tight”. She reached up and. But, my Master wouldn’t have let me settle for that.He’s not here. Stop thinking about him!I vaguely remembered switching apartments with my roommates’ friend, vaguely remembered passing out someplace different, showering someplace different. For a while, I would see him around, looking for me probably. And I would hide like a rat, too scared to have an adult conversation with him. I had hurt him, I knew, and maybe that meant I deserved this feeling of pain. But staring at the sun that day with him had been like waking from a dream-You mean like this is a dream?Had been like realizing the happiest moments of my life were lies-You mean like this is a fucking lie?Had been like raising above foggy waters that I could drown beneath-You mean like you’re drowning now?Weekends were a nightmare-What are these razor cuts?Started to get worse-You’re going to die.Started to get unbearable-There’s a cure and you won’t take it.Started to get dangerous-Let me help you, kotik.And then, I finally.
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