..”Both women laughed and the conversation stopped for a moment when a waiter brought our hot and sour soup. Despite being thickened with corn starch and being high in sodium, Mary had agreed it was OK for me to have as I’d had no carbs at all at breakfast and lunch.“All goofiness aside,” I said. “What are the rules I need to follow?”“Literally no food or drink, including water, which isn’t provided. The nurses will keep track of how much you drink - just do it as you normally would. There will be a bottle you’ll be able to carry with you when you’re not in your room. Beyond that, you’re free to roam the hospital and grounds, so long as you’re in your room when we need to do your hourly glucose checks. I know that’s fairly restrictive, but I’m not going to require you to stay in your room or in bed. Did you bring sweats?”“Yes.”“You can wear those, rather than a hospital gown, and pajamas and a robe are fine if you brought those as I suggested for the sleep study.”“I did.”“I saw you. Let me see ‘A blink! It comes and goes and you don’t know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.’‘Excellent!’ said the interviewer. ‘The blink of an eye, that’s a very popular cliché for speed.’ He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.‘Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. ‘Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of’.The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. ‘It’s hard to beat the speed of light, ‘ he said.Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.Old Bubba replied, ‘After hearing the previous three answers, it’s obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.’‘WHAT!?’ said the interviewer, stunned by the response.‘Oh sure’, said BUBBA. ‘You see, the other.
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