Instead of contemplating my navel, I stared at the ceramic tiles between my bare feet and tried not to throw up and tried to make sense out of the fast forty-eight hours. I held my head between my hands and stared at the bathroom flooring between my toes. I was startled to notice the colony’s toilet paper carried designs that matched the natural floral patterns baked into the enamel squares.In the sport of survivalism, you win if you don’t die. While I was miles away from mastering the tactical details, I had a hunch there were no sections devoted to designer TP in any prepper’s manual. My head hurt thinking about it.The joy I felt at no longer being Sheila’s “guest-prisoner” quickly faded as the ongoing war in my gut went nuclear. I kinda recall a post-midnight kitchen raid as my girlfriend, Seraina, Starshine, and I foraged for snacks and goodies. Anything to feed a wicked case of the munchies. Kitchen-Karma got its revenge as my stomach bubbled, gurgled, and churned like a science. " You know ... for some reason I don't doubt that. Not for a minute. Forget what I said. Attend class naked if you want, that would certainly prove interesting." Don't tempt me," she giggled. "Though I once kept flashing my bare breast at a really attractive looking female professor once. And she wasn't even gay, or bi-sexual either ... at the time," she added."Glad I didn't bet on that one either. I'd almost be willing to bet you could convince the Pope to allow conjugal relations inside the Vatican!"She actually stopped for a moment as though considering that as I stumbled ahead briefly, stopping myself looking at her. "Funny you should say that," she smiled. "Always thought it would be fun to get it on somewhere around there, would be quite the challenge wouldn't it?" Actually ... no. I wouldn't take bets against you seducing half the Swiss Guard knowing you." Only half?" She pouted. I shook my head again."Come on ... we're going to be late if we don't get a move on here."And.
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