We were both still nervous, so I knew he still felt comfortable around me as long as we didn’t touch one another. I wasn’t interested in any of the programs on that night, so daddy turned on a program about fly fishing in Colorado and was soon engrossed in it. I forced myself to watch and asked daddy a couple of questions about fly fishing to make him think I was interested.About a half hour into the program, I lay down on the couch and put my head on daddy’s thigh. I had my back to him. I expected him to tell me to sit up, but he didn’t. He was so wrapped up in the program that I don’t think he really noticed what I was doing.For a long time, I just lay there without moving. Then, I put my right hand up under my head so that it was between me and daddy’s thigh, palm down. I began moving my fingers, just kind of flexing them at first, but then stretching them out and pulling them back again so that I was massaging daddy’s inner thigh.I didn’t know if that would turn daddy on or. Why did I have to warn him? What kind of fool am I? I've just made it that much more difficult to have an affair.I've already made up my mind. I'm going to do this. I've just had a bad start. A poorly chosen strategy. I have to step back and rethink what to do.As I wandered through the house, I noticed the door to his study was open and he was no longer there. I tried the living room and then the kitchen, but he was nowhere to be found. I looked in the hall closet and noticed his windbreaker was missing. He had left. Where had he gone? Would he be back tonight? I could feel the fear in my stomach. This was turning into a nightmare.I poured myself and strong gin and tonic and continued to pace through the house. Howard didn't have a cell phone, so there was no way to call him. Would he answer even if he could? I need a way out of this mess. I have to make him forget about my stupid outburst. Repairing the damage was going to be a long, slow process. It was essential that I make it.
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