"Then came a couple of huge, life-changing moments. My Mom was working every day, not getting home until 5:30pm. That gave me two full hours to have my run of the place. I still liked the afternoon Westerns on local TV, every day at 4:30 – those same ones that I grew up with during my elementary school years. One afternoon, while watching my favorite shoot-'em-up – stupid innocent Big Dummy here, took a flying leap onto the top of the leather sofa, acting like I was riding my trusted pony, just like my Cowboy heroes were doing on screen. I got into the moment, wanting to ride herd on the bad guys, just like my hero Gene Autry. Damn, sounds like a 10 year-old kid, not a growing teen ... but admittedly, I was behind on the learning curve in MANY areas...So I went to the whip with an imaginary rope, while "jockeying" on my "horse's saddle". I wasn't yet aware that this "jockeying" would give way to a similar move one day, called HUMPING. As I was getting fired up on horseback, I got a. Day after day you find yourself upside down hanging from the garden swing, your dress hem fluttering about your burning face as your exposed and gushing lady regions are being brought to endless ecstatic release all in the name of a loving relationship. Yet dare to mention an unsatisfied longing for that most basic of emotional care-giving, a hug, and it's just endless excuses about your fiery, paint-stripper breath and death-ray stare. What I've discovered, Mrs Godzilla, is that if you want a hug you should take a hug and if that requires minor instances of domestic violence then so be it. My strategy is to go for the reverse hug. Strappy armed, I sneak up from behind, slide my arms around to grab a tight and twisty grip on any available nipple nuts, ram the strappy deep into any available orifice, and clamp on to the neck with my teeth in a deeply affectionate and caring love bite. Then all you need do is cling on as your selected prey writhes and jerks in a desperate attempt to.
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