Beside me in bed Linda sleeps now, but sleep will not come to me. I rise softly so I will not wake her and go to other room in this great house that we now have. I must think to myself.I make error in this day. Linda says many excuses for my error, but I will not excuse myself from it. I tell her before I am not best at what she and Irving wish me to do, but I will myself to be best, and yet I make error.M’kamba will not be so easy with me for this. I hear in my mind her voice telling me how foolish I am. “You listen only to surface,” she says, “you do not look beneath. Always it is needed to look beneath, to pierce through many layers to truth, do not stop at one or two or even more, go all way to base where truth lies.”But this day I do not do. I go to many layers, but there is still more beneath all and there I do not see. M’kamba has shame for me.M’kamba. She is dead, so many years ago I cannot understand. My children are dead, and the children of my children that I never know,. "Let go back there", I said as I moved her and myself toward the shed door."But,..but..,I..,please don't kill me...please don't hurt me" She was begging me and looking like she was going to cry."Don't be silly. I'm not going to kill you, I'm not even going to hurt you. God no, look, we have a little fun, OK, and nobody sees this, nobody finds out. We don't, and I'll make sure your parents, friends and school have both video and stills of you, fucking yourself with that cob of corn. You won't live it down. You understand?"She nodded. She let me push her ass in front of me and walked into the shack. I turned her around and started to untie her shirt. It opened revealing two exquisitely round, small globes with small pink nipples. I dragged a finger tip across her left nipple and she jumped like she'd been given an electrical shock. She smiled tightly. I bent down and gently kissed her lips, she tried to turn away, but I used one hand to hold her head, the other rubbed and squeezed.
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