For the first time today, I feel relaxed, and it lasts until right as we're leaving the restaurant. "Ethan?" I hear someone call, and I look up to see Ethan blanch. He turns around as some girl coos "Hey!" while he gives her a hug. "How are you?" she asks, and when Ethan pulls away to stand beside me, she freezes. It's silent for one second, enough time for me to register that this is awkward. "I'm good Hannah, this is Chanel. Chanel... Hannah," he introduces us. She's very pretty, blonde, big brown eyes. "Nice to meet you," I say sweetly as she composes herself. "You too," she replies, smiling. I glance at Ethan, and he seems reluctant to speak. "Uh, Hannah's an old friend of mine," he says, clarifying how they know each other. "Oh, okay," I nod, and Hannah won't stop staring at me. I've seen that look before; she's jealous of me. "Well, my sisters are waiting, um, it was nice to see you," she finally turns to Ethan, looking a little hurt. "You too, see ya," he says, and. 'Thhessh benefisssh,' is what I think she said. I giggled and laid back to enjoy my fringe benefits.I tried to work out what I felt for Fiona. It wasn’t love in theconventional sense of the word. Devotion, perhaps, but even that didn’tconvey the depth and complexity of my feelings for this woman who had****d me and then cared tenderly for me afterwards. I was scared of her,for sure, but deep down I felt she cared for me as well. She was thecentre of my life and I had given myself to her totally and would doanything for her.The next couple of days were pretty busy. Vanessa had come by and wantedconfirmation of what Fiona had told her. I said that, yes, I wanted tostay. She asked me if I knew what was involved and what I would need todo. I said that I knew only what Fiona had told me and if that was true,then I wanted to do it.Vanessa confirmed that was the case and ran through what was expected ofme. I would go through a period of training, developing my skills andperfecting the look.
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