I remembered what that lovelySA said when I bought my dress; "Usually when a girl buys a dress fromhere she wants to show it off." So I logged on to a crossdressing chatroom and started chatting with this one gurl like me. I showed her mylook and told her about my conundrum. "Stop chatting with me and go outand shoe yourself off girl" she said. "I want to hear all about it whenyou do it." and she logged off. Oh. Ok.So I logged off and packed my cute clutch with all my necessities, ID,money, cards, keys, hotel key, lip stick and gloss, compact. I cancarry a lot in this little thing its so convenient! SO anyway, I keptlooking at myself in the full body mirror, trying to work up the courageto walk out there. I keep making adjustments. I must have opened thedoor only to close it like 100 times, I don't know. I sat down and justas I was about to give up, "Do It" by the Spice Girls comes on. Hearingthat song gave me the push to get up, adjust my dress one last time,open the. ‘More you want to relax…sleepier you get…’ Tap. It wasn’t just her eyes now, or the gun. Everything felt heavy. Her arms, her legs, her head, like gravity was pressing down on her with more intensity every second. She couldn’t stop the overheard conversation playing itself out in her head, but her jaw felt too slack and her mind felt too sleepy to do more than recite a few key words. ‘Sleepy,’ she whispered. ‘Deep…obey, must obey…’ She felt the gun slip out of her hand. It was too heavy to hold anyway. She wanted to look for where it fell, just in case she needed to grab it quickly, but it felt impossible to look away from Derek’s eyes now. They filled her whole world. Lori was dimly aware of her whole body slumping bonelessly into the chair, her head sinking into the headrest like it was the world’s softest, most comfortable pillow, but her whole attention was consumed with keeping her eyes open just a little bit longer, holding onto just a shred of willpower in the face of Derek’s.
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