Nevertheless, I sat on the floor next to her and put an arm over her shoulders.“You’re not alone, Callie. I’m here and I’m staying for as long as it takes.”She melted, leaning against me. “It hurts so much,” she whispered. “Dad...” her voice hitched. She breathed deeply. “Dad was all I had in the world.”I had no words.Twenty minutes later we were back on the road. Callie sat silently watching the scenery pass; lush green fields broken by deep forests of oak and elm and birch. We passed through small villages, no more than a main street with two or three stores and a café. Miles drifted by in silence. We passed to the east of Bordeaux, still heading south.I had no plan yet. I wanted distance from Paris. Being on the road may have been riskier than hiding namelessly in a city, but I found comfort in the constant movement, running - action being better than inaction when threatened.Clouds gathered in the distance and rolled towards us. As a spring rain shower hit, I finally spoke.“Did. He looks at me and seems to understand my silent prayer. He slowly travels back up to my mouth, planting little kisses all over my body before he finally reaches my mouth. I’m on fire. This heat is burning me to ashes, taking me to a place I had never been to with J. The need for him is unbearable. When he finally reaches my mouth he pauses, pulls away, looks at me… ‘Tell me what you want’ he said with sweet, glossy eyes, desire burning his body and soul, I can see it, the need… ‘I can’t’, is my response. I want you inside me now!! Can’t you understand? You are teaching me something that no one else did and this is torture! Shouted my mind ‘Are you ok? Are you ok with this?’ soft kisses running from my neck until the valley of my breasts, as if trying to shut my mind with the shivers running through me and that way letting him do everything with me. ‘I’d rather not talk’ was my reply, ‘I’m too loud…’ and smiled. Not being able to say: too loud to say anything that is screaming into.
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