I knew it wasn’t true. You would have only made my life better. In the short time I did know you, you completely changed me. I could only imagine who I would have become had we been able to live the life we deserved. My grandma always said, ‘God gives us just enough — never too much and never too little.’ She was right. That short time I knew you was just long enough for me to know someone loved me. I think that was the thing that changed me most of all. Knowing that someone had unconditional love for me. And that was what made me finally able to let go and love myself. Sometimes at night I think about the night you died. I cry every time I remember the look on the nurses face, when I knew the end was near. She came in and pulled away the tubes. Then the doctor came, and they turned off your life support. I closed my eyes as I heard the rhythmic sound of your heart monitor shift to a single sharp note. I still hear that in my head sometimes when I close my eyes. I don’t think it’ll. "You look just like her. I remember seeing you in here a few weeks ago, and I said to myself 'I bet that's her.' You're not her?" No... no," Laura laughed again, more nervously this time.Tracy screwed up her face in a very fetching way. "Are you sure? You wouldn't lie to me?" No. I wouldn't. You're embarrassing me, too."Lots of people were looking at them."Oh, I guess so. I'm sorry," Tracy said as they walked back to Laura's shopping cart.But Laura realized that, after days of ignoring sex and sexual invitations from girls she really adored screwing, she was suddenly inflamed with desire for Tracy. The yearning was so powerful that she had to exert strong self-control to keep it from becoming visible."I'm very flattered, though," she said, not wanting this encounter to end."Maybe you should go into modeling," Tracy said. "You're really gorgeous."Laura blushed. "So are you," she said softly."Me?" Tracy scoffed. "Now look who's joking!" I mean it," Laura said, with a straight.
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