The more mature version of me, the one who’s ripened and seasoned a little with each step of the journey, isn’t adverse to a little healthy caution. Just a little. But now… now that I’m here, happily alive and standing at the genesis of my wildest dreams: now I believe. The countless hours spent quietly and wildly daydreaming of this, of my lover. The wishing on wishes so quixotic I might well have been throwing quarters in the Trevi Fountain and pleading for a taste of the moon. The frustrating silence through all of the missed opportunities neither could foresee, the fleeting moments wondering what in the hell I was thinking. Emotions in constant motion that all culminate in this: Set up your blast radius, cover your tracks, stay within your perimeter, and just go for it. Subtle movement in the periphery catches my attention and snaps me back to the present. No more visions of slow dancing pressed close together in a darkened room burning with the amber glow of vanilla scented. Neither one brought it up and I didn't ask them to do it either. Because of two reasons - I never desired to facialize a woman anyway, and I sensed that the post-facial blowback would be bad - for me and these two women I loved very much and maybe for the relationships with them as well.After my divorce I was free to have sex with anyone I lusted for and who lusted for me, for the first time since I was 22 years old. And I did that with both women and men and finally lived my full sexuality in real life. My post-marriage sex life includes 4 facials in total. Two of my loads landing on the face of two different women one time for each, and two loads from two different guys landing on my face once each time.I did that more to find out what it was like than from my sexual desire or needs. And I liked it all four times, right when they happened and also after that when they faded into the past. But liked it is different from loved it and I won't give or take another facial ever again.
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