Lu's image got engraved on the inside of my eyelids.One day Lu got into a shoving match with Anson, and it was right in front of our house. I mean the B.'s house. She got out of his car, and he did too. They were hollering at each other and then he shoved her with both hands. He was hollering so loud, I could hear it inside, and when I looked out the window they were going at it. I moved to the front door and opened it. They didn't notice.He said, "Well, I did."Lu said, "And I didn't." You've been playing hard to get a long time, Lucy. God! What a cocktease." Am not. I told you, I wasn't going to do that until graduation."Then he shoved her with both hands. "Fine! Just keep away from me."She fell back on her ass on the grass, but got up quickly. She moved back at him. Lu had never had any problem taking on guys who were bigger than she was. I thought back to a smaller version of her getting in the face of bigger guys about the 'Baby Huey' insults I took when I was younger. But this. I still lived with my parents at the time, had dropped out of university, with no direction or perspective towards my future existence.I always showed a certain interest in my mum’s teasing lingerie, but this was different. I can still remember the thrill of my first Amazon order. I got the hold-up stockings, the tight and short leather skirt - the kind that didn’t cover all of my butt. Together with the string and the bra, I felt so sexy. I never felt more attractive before.I can still feel the chill at how nervous I was. The fear of someone else receiving the package but me. The fear of exposure, and that someone would find the secrets in my room. How many times did I felt the need to doublecheck if everything was properly hidden away?I rarely took my sexy dress out. Always when I was alone. But the hidden truth was, I never felt sexier, more desirable and so “porno” than in these moments, when I was dressed up to pose Infront of my camera; for my personal alter-ego selfie.
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