He has a funny smile on his lips. ‘What is it?’ I ask. He meets my eyes steadily and says ‘I’d like to drink this champagne out of your pussy.’ HEL-lo! Repast concluded. At his direction I lay back on the pillows, already heated from imagining what came next. John swirls the champagne in his flute, eying me keenly from the end of the bed. ‘Put your hands under your bottom and spread your legs’ he orders. His tone is conversational, even friendly, but the steel in his words leaves no doubt…this is not a polite suggestion. I obey. I feel my face heat as my knees fall away and my hands under my ass tilt the goods to advantage. No one is as young as they once were, and life wears on a body. He is asking for a lot, for me to trust that he will cherish what I display, and keep me safe. But I don’t feel safe. I feel fly-stung and fraught with nerves. He knee walks to kneel between my sprawled legs. His free hand caresses my thigh. He sips his champagne. He is oddly graceful as he lowers. The gym was owned by one of Jason's lieutenants, an up and comingmember of Manchester's underworld. I got free membership; no questionsasked, no membership card, no records. I'd had an induction by a veryhandsome personal trainer who wouldn't look me in the eye, or even thechest, as though I was the queen of some tyrannical state whose Kingwould have made him a eunuch if ever he thought I'd been disrespected."Why do you do so much?" Jason asked, when he'd once took the troubleto come and watch me. I swam, did boxercise, running, rowing, weightsand Pilates there. Not only was I curved and feminine, but lean andquick. I did self-defence classes and knew how to hurt people - notthat anybody would have dared try anything on with one of Jason'swomen."I'm thirty this year," I said. "You won't let me have my rooms if I'mfat and flabby, will you?"That had made him smile; he'd kissed my cheek, but not denied theallegation.But I didn't feel myself on that morning. There was no rhythm in me.
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