(By the way, I'm not that old).So when that mechanical beeping emanates from my phone that someone wants to FaceTime me, it's definitely out of the ordinary. Especially when it's 10:30 on a Tuesday night. I got to my phone and it said "Ann FaceTime video."Well, this was different. Ann Next Door and I been fooling around on the side a few times—mostly at my house—but had been careful not to call too much attention to ourselves. This includes little more than neighborly texts about whatever suburban shit of the day. I slid the notification over because this had to be good. It also could be risky. I hadn't seen her in more than a week, and really didn't know if her husband was around or not. He travels some for work, even during Covid, and we'd been meeting in and around those trips. I was careful not to say anything stupid. I could see my face rendering in the tiny window up top. When Ann's end of the conversation finally materialized on my screen, it was magical. Her pristine, pink,. A relative on my wife’s side? Somehow I didn’t think so. I wiggled on the uncomfortable pew, trying to show the proper amount of grief during the key points in the sermon. The truth was, I felt a bitter detachment from it all. Everyone thought my wife had died in a car accident on the way to church, and I was content to let everyone keep on thinking that. But in reality church was the last thing on my wife’s mind that day. No, Mary was going past the church to the little suburb where her lover lived. Yes, my wife had been unfaithful to me for the last eight months, something I had only discovered after her death. However, it was between me and my private investigator, and no one else needed to know. I wasn’t exactly a celebrity, but Mary’s death was in the papers and the scandal of a love affair would certainly add spice to the story. Finally the eulogy ended, but as I tried to make my way over to the young woman I was surrounded by a crowd of people eager to offer their.
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