You just vanished. Didn't you love us any more? What happened? I know about the shit with Mom, but you threw her away Dad. You pushed her into Greg's arms. Practically gift wrapped her. I mean, what the fuck? Giving permission for an affair? What the hell man does that?"Grace voice was rising again – there were strong feelings being expressed, eight years of repression and bewilderment coming out.John gritted his teeth. This was going to be harder than he thought when he saw her pull up.He just breathed for a few moments, willing his blood pressure down.Eventually, he said, in as normal a tone as he could manage, "As I recall, the last time I saw you, you made it perfectly clear what you thought of me being your 'Dad'," – he even made the quotation marks, something he'd never done before. "You were quite clear about your – and Sophia's – feelings on the matter. I wasn't required. I think your words were 'Who needs a dad who throws Mom away? Not with a better one in the wings'. Those. Never had I known joy as it comes when you gain a friend in this hellish pit. So much joy I did not notice that still only one platter of food was delivered. So much joy, I never notice that she never partook of it with me. I noticed only that as our conversations passed, she thinned and weakened substantially. Soon enough she perished without warning, I awoke and she never did. Such a turn from pure joy to utter grief destroyed any sanity left burrowed in hiding within me – sanity was now a fool’s game. I draped myself over her body, holding her to me, sobbing my sorrows into the crook of her neck. Her flesh dissolved under my purlonged grasp and left only her skeleton to my keeping. Still there I remained, weeping a tearless lament. For hours – days even! – I picked at her bones, counting them, forming shapes out of them. More than once I lost all hope – if any ever remained – and attempted to pierce my heart with the scattered bones, but upon striking found in my hands not but.
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