You’re eighteen now, you’ll be going off to college in a just a few days.’ ‘Oh mom!’ ‘Don’t oh mom me. Look, I had sex for the first time when I was almost exactly your age. It wasn’t anything to write home about and I was scared to death—particularly about getting pregnant. Tomorrow morning after I take your brother to day camp I made an appointment for you with Dr. Caruthers. Things happen and passions flame. I want you to start taking birth control pills—just in case. I wish they’d had them when I was your age! Then again, we found creative ways to deal with things, often discovering that the alternatives could be a hell of a lot of fun.’ ‘Mom, do you and dad still…’ ‘Oh please! Now I’m going to make you really uncomfortable. Look, you know I don’t have periods anymore—so I can’t get pregnant. No more messy jelly and uncomfortable diaphragms, no pill that make me fat, no inconvenient times of the month. You dad and I fuck more now than we did when we were your age. And without the. And with it, I was attracted to her pert proud thighs as they came at me and then passed so that I saw their pleasant forward thrust in its full fleshliness as well as the rear view with its uptight pressuring thrust seen from behind.And she smiled to me as she passed, smiled somewhat shyly and yet perhaps amusedly at the stare I gave her. She was already past before I realized that I had been frozen by her beauty, or whatever it was that attracted me to her, and that I hadn't even been able to respond to that lovely smile. And I watched her until she passed from view beyond a rise of the beach and down somewhere nearer the surf.As a matter of reflex, I suppose, I left my car and went after her. Why did I pursue her? How do I know? We go through a lifetime on a track, building something within us that forces out the world, that drives us forward, unendingly forward, and then one day we happen upon a breach in our very armor and we see the world in a fragrant strange new light which.
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