Those days I was looking for girls/women for friendship wherein I left a message on her profile and was amazed to see her response wherein she also showed interest in meeting me. We exchanged our numbers and talked on the phone for few days.One afternoon at around 1:00 pm, when I was in office, I received a call from her that she was free and if I could come down to meet her. I was happy looking at her message and immediately called her that will speak to my boss and revert in 15 min and try to make it. Even I did not want to miss this opportunity to meet her as since the time I had seen her pic was eager to meet her but did not show any desperation as that could have spoiled the entire equation. I straight away went to my boss, who was a very kind and understanding person granted me half day. I immediately called her up confirmed that I am coming to meet her & packed my bag and left from office. While I was on my way twice I received a call from her to confirm if I am coming for. It all satisfied those surface needs, but my heart still longed for Jake. It was him I was saving my virginity to and who was the main character in the majority of of masturbation fantasies. I still prefered masturbating while submerged in a tub of water and thrashing about like a seal having a seizure and splashing the bathroom floor. My mother never remarried. She was always a beautiful woman which deepened my resentment towards her. Jake and my mother would remain very close throughout their life. I think they flirted but it never went beyond that. In the sobering passing of time I think I saw that and forgave her her less than motherly gestures towards her son. I kept my own feelings for him safely hidden, not even confiding them to the diary I kept during those years. By this time I knew act of sex between a brother and sister was "morally' wrong. It still did not dissuade my feelings for Jake. When Jake was twenty he had accumulated enough money to move out and find an.
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