”This went on for an hour. I literally sat there, surrounded by sexy women and fun music, staring at a blank cell phone screen. It was getting late. The bar was going to close in 45 minutes. Suddenly, something clicked in me. I stood up, mumbled “F*ck it” under my breath, and walked into the crowd of dancing lesbians.Do you know how awkward it is to dance by yourself amidst a crowd of people all dancing in couples or groups? I’m pretty sure it’s up there in my nightmares with showing up naked to middle school and my teeth falling out of my face. But nevertheless, I started dancing. And then I saw her. I had never seen a real boi before, and this one was all abs in a sports bra and cargo shorts. She looked like she was having the time of her life and I was positive I had never seen anything like her in mine. I audibly said, “Wow.”I continued dancing with my eye on her for awhile, but I had no intentions of approaching. She was older and the hottest girl in the room and I was a babydyke. ?I knew there would be questions aplenty regarding my background, myreligious and moral beliefs, and especially what skills I would be ableto contribute in service to the Montfort family. My skills! Heavenknows that I had precious few to advertise!While it was true that I had spent enough of my childhood in thescullery to find my way around it, and that I had lived my lifesurrounded by servants sufficient that I should know how to act likeone, it was equally true that I had no more direct experience of how toiron the linens without scorching them than I had to raise a heiferover my head with my bare hands!To mask these deficiencies, I resolved to claim that I had been servingas companion to a young lady of substantial means who had regrettablydied recently of a severe paralysis. Since I knew at first hand all thedetails of such a case actually occurring (it was my own cousinCharlotte, in fact), my confidence began to grow.It is well known that companions to invalided aristocrats are.
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