She came after 5 minutes and answered the phone and before leaving for her home, she said to me ” Pankaj, Mere paas aao , get me some stuffs from market please.” I was scared and was afraid if she will tell my parents or someone else about what I saw… So I went with her to her place and She handed me some money and asked me to buy some Chocolates from the market. I returned from the market with chocolates and the change and gave them to her, she refused to take the stuff, she said that this chocolate is for me and I can also keep the change, I was happy but still scared from the earlier act.She asked me ” Pankaj, shall i ask u some thing?” I said ” yes” She said ” will you tell anyone what you saw?” I said “No, i won’t, but u too shudnt” She said “Am i crazy?Well what did u see?” I said “I saw everything” Now she started asking me what exactly did I see, and made me say every thing I said “i saw your boobs. She said ” what else?” I said “and that too” she said ” that what?” I said. Un desirable, Un loveable, and definitely UN Fuckable! A brand I wore right through university, and even now. I fell in love once. Completely, and stupidly to a girl. Cynthia. A wonderfully creative and beautiful soul. She was a writer and as an artist she wore an artists passions. She taught me how to kiss one day. I was hers. Unfortunately she couldn’t give herself. Having suffered some unspeakable emotional trauma as a child, she could never entirely love anyone. I moved out west where I hoped to forget her. But I never did I forget Cynthia and her gentle ‘cookie kisses’. I’m almost fifty now, Oh, I’ve been married, for 20 years. To a bitch that never really gave a shit and wouldn’t even kiss me, thought it was dirty, or I was dirty. Only good thing that came from that was my two kids, or at least one of them cares. So now I live alone, in a lousy 1 bedroom apartment that’s so small I have to go outside to change my mind. No regular girl friend. It seems like the only women that.
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