’ ‘I’m Fran Martin,’ the woman said. ‘I…I just bought this cabin from a friend of mine. I got a job nearby so I guess I’m going to be living here…like you do.’ They chatted for a while and Greg learned Fran had recently gotten divorced and had bought the cabin with part of her divorce settlement. She worked for a company that contracted for Employee Assistance Program services and her company had signed a contract with the local school district. From that point on, Greg and Fran bumped into each other quite often and they’d become good friends. He helped her split and stack her firewood and connected her with another friend of his who she hired to do a lot of the other care taking work around her cabin. Greg found Fran attractive, but their relationship had never gone beyond friendship. Having seen what Fran looked like nude, he often thought he wouldn’t have minded if he and she had become more than friends, though. As he stood there next to the lake, he watched Fran walk up the path. A big man wanting. Knowing,in dreaming, what that must be. Afraid of it somehow. Maybe ...desiring it. Dreams of possibilities.. Such possibilities. But dreams Iknew I should not dream, her dreams that no man should dream, dreamsthat made me turn, now this way, that, trying, vainly, to find the wayto fall into a darkness that would let me simply sleep in peace. DreamsI wanted to blink away and make vanish. But that I couldn't.Because, muzzy, half awake I was, half aware of what my hands told me,of what I sensed from deep within, there still remained thedisconnection: this world I was immersed in -- me, here, it was me whoswam, or tried to, in this strange sea, it was me who was at risk ofdrowning here.. Me, I was still here. Me, what I liked, what I desired,what I thought. The faintest smell of frying meat -- me, me, I likedthat. The cool pale light of morning, that was what I liked. Me. I laythere, soft and tiny in bed, still scattered in a million pieces, asscattered as the.
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