Glorious, vivid dreams of being a girl. Of beingaccepted. That my mother knew I had been wearing her clothes andexplained to my family why. The dreams were so real I would sometimeswake confused, wondering if it had actually happened. This disorientationwould last for hours and I had to be extremely careful about what I saidand did.When I was circumcised I was convinced I was going in for an operationthat would fix me. My parents had realised the mistake that had beenmade. I was young and absolutely believed that when I had the operation Iwould be a girl. Everything would be right. Of course, that neverhappened and I have never been so hurt in my life. The feeling ofbetrayal passed, but I knew I could never talk about who I was or thefact that I was wearing women's underwear, to anybody. If my own parentsdidn't understand, who would?I was alone.UNIVERSITYI attended university late, basically trailing behind a girl, hoping oneday we would marry. We'd been together for a few years. I. I was just… I meant that-”Her scowl turned into a laugh. She punked me. “Okay, ha ha, good one,” I said.“I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would work that well.”“I didn’t mean to offend you, I was worried is all.”She stepped forward and cupped my face with both hands. “I know, you’re just too cute when you’re uncomfortable. I can’t help it.”I looked into her eyes, and my embarrassment faded. She gave me a kiss as an olive branch. This woman played me like a piano to whatever tune she saw fit. I was in so far over my head with her; I considered myself lucky that she found me so entertaining. I’d never met such an amazing woman in all my life.We meandered through the primate section, reading placards and playing with the chimps that interacted with us. Aubrey showed one of them a video of a guy doing a magic trick on her phone, and the chimp actually reacted to it. It jumped up and down, did a quick circle around the enclosure and came back to watch the video again. She played it again, and.
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