This was the solemn promise, the terrifying seduction, of the whispers: the end of doubt, just one step and all questions would be driven out by the numbing cold of endless dying, endless falling. Perhaps this was the best he could hope for, he had left the warmth and comfort of believe behind so long ago now, had made so many turns and twists in this featureless landscape that he no longer even knew which direction retreat lay in. Yet he could not accept that the salvation of the fall was all that remained to him, he clung to the belief that there was another end awaiting discovery. How he hated this belief: it was as empty as the step he feared, stemming from nothing but his need to escape and his arrogance in thinking he could. Why could he not let go? It had been so long, why must he continue to torture himself with hope? Why was he here again tonight, hadn’t he been here often enough to know that there would be no answers? Every year he returned to this night that he lived. Yet."I really enjoyed our weekend."Katie, obviously bothered says, "I thought you were only pretending to be her boyfriend."Maria says, "It became more. What an amazing mouth!" What! With her too?" Katie says shook."Wait a minute!" says Maria. "You and Katie are dating and you were with me?" Sort of," I sputter. How did I get myself into this? Oh yeah, I'm a stupid guy right now. I do stupid things because I have no control unlike girls who have control."How could you?" It's a Katie and Maria duet!"I..." As a woman, I wouldn't accept any excuse a guy would give me so how could I expect Katie or Maria to accept anything I say?Rachel just stared. At least she couldn't add anything to Maria and Katie pounding on me.Katie says, "I thought I loved you." It was just rebound sex on your part," I say."Can't it become true love?"Maria says, "And I thought I was falling in love with you." It was just pretend," I say."Can't it become real?" I need to go," I say. There is nothing I can do or.
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