I happened to see a tiny almost invisible sign for a bed and breakfast just past a small town merely miles from the farm.It was a quaint two-story farmhouse, and as I drove up, I was met in the yard by a lovely woman in her early fifties. Her breasts rippled underneath the loose fitting tee shirt under her bib overalls, as she appeared on the driveway in front of me. I stepped from my car and said I had seen the sign for bed and breakfast and wondered if it was still available. She nodded and told me that she and her daughter would be eating dinner in about an hour, if I wished to join them, and that breakfast would be served after 6:00 am in the morning. She led me into the house and I paid for a week's stay. She led me up the stairs to and showed me a spacious room, complete with its own bathroom including a glassed in shower. Noting how worn and weathered I looked, she told me that I had plenty of time to shower and clean up before dinner. I unpacked my bag, and undressed. I had. . look! She can’t even get it up! ... who moans like that? ... those aren’t love handles, they’re spare tires ... he’s got to hold it or it’ll go limp! ... yeah, right, a bikini and an C-section scar ... Christ, if they had put in any more silicone she’d fall over...”For a second I thought it was just me. Maybe I was just too dumb to figure it out. But I looked around the room and met incredulous stares from the other guys. Without question, all the men had been transported to the Twilight Zone. And the women to the Comedy Club.“ ... men are such pigs! ... I wouldn’t touch our mailman with a ten-foot pole ... that’s not a cock, it’s a mutation! ... who’d get a tattoo there? ... well, no wonder! She’s so coked up she couldn’t remember the lines with the script in her hands ... and clapped up to boot...”Thank heavens the abomination was as mercifully short as it was mercilessly bad. But all the women loved it. After a final rousing chorus of “Men are such pigs!” they trooped off.
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